Mirror, Mirror...

I am exploring the spiritual law, “As within, so without.” I am renovating inwardly when my outer world is disharmonious. Here is a story from India sharing some of my findings.

February 21. On route to Periyar, South India

Inequality. The cast system. Cultural taboos. Lists of do's and don'ts that challenge my independence. India is pushing me. The systems of the wounded patriarch are alive and well in restaurants, hotels and stores. A not-so-subtle pecking order steeped in the duality of “superior” and “inferior.” Value assigned based on birth, beliefs and rules rooted in tradition and ignorance. Of course it is the same as it is in the west, but less subtle. More vivid. Easier to be triggered by. The only place where equality appears to reign is in the streets. Our guide put it this way, “You never know who you're standing next to in India.”

Oppression brings out the rebel in me. Not being able to walk where I want, when I want and wearing what I like stimulates urges to buck. At times, our tour guide morphs into a self-projected finger wagging father-figure whose well-founded guidance is less than gratefully received by me. “You MUST not walk alone. You MUST stay with the group. I MUST pay for what you want from street vendors. You MUST cover your shoulders and knees when we come to the temple...”

He delivered one particularly fiery monologue the morning after four of us made a break for it. Lead by yours truly, swaggering about with a "screw-you-Dad!" kind of defiance we went out for dinner on our own. His morning rant did little to assuage me.

Containment and self-inquiry are handy tools. What was my landscape mirroring to me? What demons of inequality live within? Why do I rebel? How do I oppress? Value and devalue? Objectify and cast out?

I explore inwardly to find my inner rebel and his twin brother the tyrant. My rebel needs an oppressor. My tyrant needs a subject to oppress. They are two sides of the same coin. Locked in battle. Always, a winner and a loser. Desperate in their angling for ways to be at “the top” and bottom. Endlessly trading positions on the imaginary ladder of false evolution and going no where.

In India, I am a winner. I have money. I am educated. I can buy my way to safety. I am more valuable because of my white skin. The attention I receive on the streets is a living testament to this belief. I am a global tyrant.

I am also loser and a rebel. I am a women. Less valued by gender. I must adhere to “their rules” if I am to be safe and deflect harassment, disapproval and judgment. I must kneel or suffer retaliation.

I hold these aspects in my awareness. Cultivate compassion for their fear and insecurity. Their struggle is for safety and there is safety in my heart. Peace emerges. I begin to surrender my “freedoms” with appreciation for my guide's wisdom and his masculine presence. Understanding comes as I reel in my projections of him as controlling, authoritative and dogmatic. He has mirrored my tyrant and I have played the role of his opposite, the rebel. I begin to see him as my brother, a man who cares for my welfare. His approach towards me softens. I aligned with him. Walk beside him instead of against him. An unspoken partnership emerges of mutual respect and understanding.

Veils continue to drop. My vision clearing. The more I integrate within, the less conflict I meet without. In a country where seats on the bus are divided by gender, I gave way to the way it is and access a grid within a grid to discover ease. I navigate the cobwebs of cultural and religious taboo with more grace. Attracting less of what I have been and more of what I am becoming.

I manifest a “Kurta” to wear, a mid to long-sleeved shirt that reaches down below the waistline to cover the buttocks. I feel like a little girl dressed up for church. There is something pleasing to me about wearing it.

As my similarly dressed roommate and I collect our shoes after visiting a 14^th century meditation temple, an elderly man, sitting in the shade notices us. He seems surprised at our outfits. “You look very nice ladies... very nice.” His eyes communicate appreciation. We beam at him. Our efforts of respect have attracted the same. We stand for moment. There is no struggle. No fight. Three people connect through a bridge of common ground birthed from within. It's a win-win all around.

Comments

[Ryvr Tupper]

Bravo Alexandra,

I appreciated your skillful way of expressing such a beautiful experience in duality. And I am also grateful for your own discovery of surrender and peace in mastery of honouring the outside and the inside.

Thank you so much for this eloquent writing about a powerful message.
Blessings to you.
Ryvr

[Ric]

It is a "read between the lines" cultural lesson for the foreign traveler. Take care Alexandra.......Peace be with you ))

[Love, Geneveive]

Alexandra, your words paint the India I caught glimpses of through my brief time there...perfectly. Thank you for sharing your gifts. Take care, Sweet Sister Pilgrim.

[Fi Moger]

Surrender may not be not about handing power over. It might be more about letting go of your personal need for it. I loved the statement, "Our efforts of respect have attracted the same". Every moment holds a choice. And in this instance, I see you choosing love.

[Michele Labelle]

Our need for control in North America is a reflection of our inner struggles. When we allow space, to breathe, to let go, to ALLOW then a beautiful flow of Divine energy emerges. Thank you for sharing your inner struggles and allowing us to experience your peace. Om Shanti

[T]

What a great way to put it – as within, so without – I’ve heard other ways of putting it but I love how simple and succinct this is.
And your experience illustrates it so well.

[Love, m]

Thanks for sharing your story. It is insightful. I am proud of you.
Tonight I introduced my client friend to my Turkish friends who received us with great hospitality as usual; a meeting of cultures and hearts as well.I am enjoying the privacy of the feminine in their culture (we sing and dance and eat together as women-it is simple and easy). I feel blessed from within and without.
I am happy I am connected to you and can share vicariously your travels. Allow your brother/father figure to keep you safe while you are abroad. The masculine is honoured and enhanced while protecting the feminine.

[Anon]

I completely sympathize with your urge to rebel against all this cultural autocracy of class and patriarchy.
A recent study tells that 53.22% of the children (52.94% of those are boys and 47.06% girls) in India are sexually abused and approximately 80% suffer physical abuse.
Imagine!

That's the kind of stuff that hides behind in the shadow of this "beautiful" land.

Thank you for your comments Anon. It is my intention that this kind of information stimulates us to keep claiming within that which is neglected and abusive so that we are congruent and truly available to make the changes outwardly. Allied with you in heart and peace... Alexandra

[g]

You Rock!!!
GB

[Helen Tomei]

It is sometimes hard to surrender to "what is" rather than they way it 'should' be. Bravo for aligning your heart and mind to the NOW that was your experience in India.

[Karen Lumley]

Surrender is an act of will rather than a passive act. Kudos to you for choosing where you want your energy to go, rather than just tying it up in resistance.

[tracy]

thank you sharing ... i look forward to each and every post! sending you love, tracy

[John]

Your words had a deep transformation on my heart.

[Leslie]

Beautiful ending!